Leaves and Feathers

I was evicted, or nearly. The drama went down, for sure. I was running scared, and trying to move, and shoving things in boxes, and trying to find a place to leave Cleo. I was dealing with Josh, and I had just been laid off, and I pretty much felt like I'd never be safe again.

Fast forward to today. I have a good job that's not going anywhere. I'm about to move again, this weekend, to a gorgeous apartment of my own, with my fiancee, in a beautiful neighborhood in this wonderful city. Although I haven't gotten fully together financially yet, I'm cleaning things up quickly. My transition has been moving forward by leaps and bounds. I've made new friends and caught up with old ones. I'm learning to live on my own, without my grandmom to hold things together in the family or my dad to give advice. I feel like I have aged ten years in this one.

And on a less philosophical note, I would be really happy if we could stay in the same apartment for, like, five years now. Holy crap, am I tired of moving.

I haven't been sleeping much lately. I keep being up and good to go at ten and eleven and midnight, and then crashing during the day. I feel like I'm totally behind on everything and I never get anything done. I also get kinda worried because it's really obvious that Cadence and I are on totally different schedules, sleeping and time wise, and I wonder how that's going to intersect when we live together, especially if I change work shifts.

I've been meeting really weird cool new people, it's awesome and fun and I feel like doors are opening all over the place. I just wish I was getting some more sleep. Being more careful around caffeine would probably help, but I'm just tired anyway and then also having caffeine withdrawal when I try and cut it.

I haven't spoken to my father in over a month.

Stop:
deflecting responsibility--doing okay with this one
spending more than $50/wk on food--this has been completely scrapped
avoiding creative projects--I'm working on writing again

Go:
Dragon food plan--I've been eating better, at least. I dunno if you'd call it a plan though
Use Mint effectively and pay bills on time--Mint is kind of a fail, bill paying is something I'm working on
Go back into analysis--I have people to call, but haven't called them
Blog daily--HA.
Name change--My court date for this is Thursday, and I feel good about it.
Start a new physical activity--Was sorta okay on the five rites, hoping to start Seido sometime soon, maybe.

Yeah. . .stagnation. Bleh.
I need some space, it feels like. I want a new space now, so I can really sort out what goes in it. I always prefer to move in February and March, it feels like the time to purge and restructure and move on. I'm reaching for something but I'm not quite sure what.

Resolution update: