I don't have to be miserable. I don't have to stay in a place that I don't love. I owe it to myself to tidy up loose ends and make sure I land on my feet as much as possible, but I don't have to stick it out.

Blessed Yule.

My mom's cat died today. He was six and a half. She thinks he got into some antifreeze or something. She found him lying outside, limp but warm. . .and he threw up on the way to the vet, and then he just was gone. He was my big, gray, long-haired, polydactyl monsterkitten. When he was a baby, his coat didn't really shine yet because he was so fluffy, and he would hide under the bed and he looked like a giant dust bunny. When he got older, he used to climb down the side of our house, which was sided with rough wood shingles. He'd jump off the second-story porch and go down, and you could hear him thinking "Spider-Cat! I am Spider-Cat!"
I loved him very much. Not feeling eloquent about it, but. . .I loved him.

Sorry for co-opting a rugby song, but it fits the tone.
I am a bad student and nothing makes me wanna be a good one right now.
Sometimes I wish I were a praise whore. It might help.

History by itself is stupid. It needs context and shading and depth, at least for me.
And I hate religion.

"Someone tell her, someone get her up!"
"Left foot, right foot, just the way we showed you."

It's late, I should make the choice to sleep or be brilliant.
A shot of Baileys would be nice.

I find it interesting and confusing that I create internal conflict by imagining situations that are highly unlikely to happen and getting really really upset about them. It bothers me.

Today's Cat and Girl (www.catandgirl.com) is for Lady J. Meshes of an Afternoon, yo!

I crashed. Terribly sorry. Although last night this post would have been melodramatic to the nth degree. Sleep is good.
( Girl trouble. . .feel free to skip )
In other news, today I will attempt to find Asian food. Miso, ramen, nori, soy sauce. . .all shall be mine. Ooooooooh. . . stirfry! Tofu and veggies. Tastiness. Yay Asian market that is supposedly on the next street. If Asian food is impossible, we are saying to hell with the normal meal structure and picking out food that I can eat. Ceral, meat, cheese, chips, apples. . .anything I can actually be motivated to eat would be good.
Then cleaning the house, sorting out homework, and budgeting.

Yay Spring Break. Good time to sort things out.